Friday, October 31, 2008

Sometimes it takes loosing something, to gain something

I woke up the next morning, dreading the day at school. I had previously wrecked my car and was depending on Travis for a ride to school. So not only did i have to see him at school, i had to sit literally a foot away from him in his truck on the way to school. I just wasn't ready to see him. I just wasn't strong enough to deal with the heart ache yet. Unfortunately, i was forced to deal with it.

Travis was usually running a little late. He was always late enough that he would have to speed a little to get to school on time. So i wasn't surprised when he showed up close to 15 minutes before we were supposed to be in class. When i saw his truck pull up in my drive way, my heart instantly sunk. I literally felt a sharp pain in that general area, however, i refused to let him know that it bothered me so much. So i took a deep breath and met him outside. We said quick hello's to each other, but didn't say much else the whole way. I spent the rest of the day trying to dodge having to tell people taht we had broken up. Everyone had noticed that we weren't together in the hallways anymore, we didn't go to each other's lockers and we weren't talking. When his name came up in conversations i tried to change the subject as fast as possible. He was the last thing i wanted to talk about. I was doing pretty well at acting like i was strong...until my last period. I heard rumors that Travis was already talking to another girl. (For her privacy and such, we'll call her Kay). I was devastated. I didnt know Kay as a person, but i knew she was beautiful and if the rumors were true, she was getting attentin from Travis and that was enough to make me jealous. Small tears began falling out of my eyes. I managed to hold back the majority of my tears, but by the time that class was over I was ready to bolt out of that building. My locker was across from Travis' and he came up to ask if it was ok if he didn't take me home today because he had something he had to do and wanted to make sure i had a ride home. I was fine with that. In fact, i was a little relieved. Less time spent with him was a-okay with me. I responded quickly and straight to the point, "Yeah, thats fine." I don't know if he could tell something was wrong or if he just wanted to see how i was doing but he asked, "are you okay?" I didn't want to talk to HIM about any of my emotions, so i told him i was fine and that i'd see him later.

It was then that i saw Kay walk up to him and i knew the rumors were true. I quickly walked away and called my dad to come and get me. He was confused because he thought Travis was taking me home. I told him it was a long story and i didn't want to talk about it.

I got a phone call that evening from my best friends mom. She said that "B" had just broken up with her boyfriend and was very upset. She explained that she didn't want to talk to anyone but thought she may want to talk to me. I didn't know what i would have said to comfort her, but it couldnt have hurt. I could use a friend to lean on right now too, so i told her i would be there in a few minutes. At this time, "B" didn't know that Travis and I had broken up. I hadn't hd time to tell her. I found "B" in her room in tears. She and her boyfriend had been dating for the same amount of time taht Travis and I dated. In fact, it was kind of weird that we had broken up with our boyfriends around the same time. But "B" hadn't been dumped like i was. SHe was the dumper. I think she was needing a more spiritual guy and her boyfriend just wasn't raised that way so she knew she had to end it, which broke her heart. I hugged "B" and told her i was sorry. It was then that i told her about Travis and me. She was shocked, but hugged me back and said she was sorry as well. We hung out that day and tried to make each other laugh and do anythign that would take the other's mind off of you know who.

I thought it was odd that we were going through this together, but now i understand that it was God giving us someone to help us heal and to get through the heart ache. "B" and I had a strong friendship before it happened. But through the heart ache, we became even stronger. We had a bond that no one could come in between and we were there for each other no matter what. "B" was the answer to my prayers at that time. I had lost my friendship with Travis, but i was gaining a stronger one with "B", and i was definately ok with that!

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