Wednesday, November 12, 2008

A new chapter

The day Travis left for college, was a heart breaking day for me. Travis and I had previously decided that we would be a couple again. But despite how happy i was about the couple thing, I had other worries. I loved Travis very very much. I couldn't imagine spending all that time with out him. Not only was he not going to be at the same school as me, but he wouldn't even be in the same city! IT was hard to grasp that realization. Of course i had worries that he would find an amazingly beautiful girl and forget all about me as well.Travis was leaving after church on sunday morning. I waited around for him to say his goodbyes to everyone. When he found me i was almost in tears already.

We walked out to his truck and tried to say our goodbyes. He told me that he would still be home every once in a while to visit and that it really wasn't that bad. I tried hard to believe him. He promised to call a lot and hugged me. I held onto his hug for as long as i could. I didn't know when i'd be able to feel his arms around me again. As i hugged him, tears came down my face. This was my best friend. I had been through so much with him. We had loved each other and hated each other, but no matter what happened, we got through it together. I loved him deeply. His eyes were a little sad, but there was also a lot of excitement. This is what he wanted. He wanted to explore new things. So for that, i was happy for him. He handed me one of his old t-shirts to have while he was gone, kissed me and got in his truck to leave. I sat in my car watching my best friend leave with a lot of sadness.

Despite Travis leaving, college WAS exciting. I was meeting new people and planned to get involved. I had plenty of homework and friends to keep me busy enough to keep my mind off of the fact that Travis was not here....until one day. THis particular day started off like any other. I got up, went to class adn talked with some friends, but there was a sadness in my heart. I hadn't planned to feel sad and i wasn't even sure why i felt so sad. I went through the day just going through all the motions and only smiling when i felt i needed to.

Travis called that night and when i heard his voice, i knew where the sadness had come from. I missed him. I missed him so much that my heart was hurting. So not long into our conversation, i started crying. Travis was just as confused as i was and i don't think he really knew what to say to comfort me. How could he comfort someone that was so far away? So he tried his best,

"Its okay. Its not forever. I'll be home to visit sooner than you think."

I was still sad, but it helped. I knew i was being ridiculous about it, but i couldn't hold the tears back. When we got off the phone that night i just prayed that soon would come quick!

And it did. A few weeks after that, Travis surprised me with a visit home! I had no idea he was even thinking about it, until i saw his white truck in the parking lot of my dorms. He was standing there with a single rose. He had a silly smirk on his face when he noticed that i saw him. I was so excited to see him that i just about knocked him over when i ran into him. I wrapped my arms around him and held on tight. It felt like i was dreaming and I had to make sure i wasn't. He was so pleased to see me so excited that he just kept smiling.

"Hello." He said still with that smirk on his face.

"HI. what are you doing here?" I asked, not that i didn't want him there, i was jsut shocked! I figured he wouldn't come back home until thanksgiving, and it was barely october.

"I'm just visiting family, friends and... you." he replied. "And it's Frenships homecoming so i figured we could go to that if you're not busy."

"Nope, i'm free!" Even if i had been busy i would have cleared my schedule for him!

We spent the rest of that day together, and the next, and then sunday came. Sunday meant that he would have to leave to go back to Abilene. I knew that it had to happen, but we had been having so much fun together that i didn't think about it until he was in my dorm parking lot again, but this time to say goodbye.

"I'll be back next month." he said knowing that i was really sad. "I miss you a lot too you know." He reached for me and held me in his arms.

"I know." I replied. "It's just hard to let you leave. Even though i have all of these friends i feel so alone." It was the truth. I had tons of friends all around me, but without him i was alone.

He kissed me, turned around to get in his truck and said," It's only a month. We can make it."

I smiled and agreed. What was a month? I could wait a month to see him again. But the day after he left, was hard. I was just getting used to seeing him ni the parking lot waiting for me that when i didn't see his truck there the next day, my heart was breaking all over again. I started hanging out with new people and doing new things just to keep busy enough so that i wouldn't think about the month i had to wait to see him again.

Then his mom told me that they were going up there for Travis' birthday and would love for me to come. I jumped at the opportunity and made sure i was off from work. Travis didn't know i was coming and it was going to be a surprise. The whole drive up there was torture for me. I kept looking at the time and it was frusterating to see we still have an hour and half to go!

WHen we finally got there, Travis was waiting inthe parking lot to his dorm. I just about jumped out of the car and ran to hug him.

"Surprise?" i said. He didn't look TOO surprised, but at least he looked happy.

That weekend, he showed me around campus, introduced me to some of his new friends/roommates, and talked about his experience there. Surprisingly, even though they didn't involve me, I loved hearing about his new experiences. Plus, so far none of his stories had any new girls in them and i was pleased about that.

WE headed home and i felt at ease. It was only a few weeks until Thanksgiving and i would see him again soon.

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